Sometimes the pain of grief is so intense I don’t know what to do with it.
I don’t know how to go about my day when the weight of heartbreak is insurmountable.
How do I function like a “normal” person when I feel anything but “normal”?
How do I stay focused and motivated when grief is constantly screaming for my attention?
How do I put on a happy face when it seems sadness is always tipping the scales?
When grief shows itself to me, a battle arises in my head. A judgmental voice telling me to snap out it, to ignore it, to move on. Berating me for my inability to shake the sadness, to turn a blind eye to my heartbreak.
As much as I want to avoid the grief by keeping myself busy - by piling on distractions and 'to do's' - I know this feeling won’t go away. In fact, the more I avoid it, the louder it will get.
So, I tell the inner voice to keep quiet. And I listen to what my heart is telling me instead. My heart, forever a wise teacher, encourages me to make space for it. To sit with it. To reflect. To talk, catch up on sleep, write, exercise, mediate.
I listen to my heart and follow what my mind and body need, so the chasm of sadness doesn’t swallow me whole.
As scary as it is to navigate the waves of grief - as scary as it is to wonder if I’ll find joy again - as scary as it is to feel unsettled and unmoored - I know that the only way out of it is through it. By giving myself space to feel and process my emotions.
I move through it with the hope that I’ll find a stronger of myself on the other side.
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