When my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, it was heartbreaking to witness how some friends, and even certain family members, quietly faded into the background. In the wake of her diagnosis, it felt as though our family had committed some terrible wrongdoing, each of us marked with a scarlet letter bearing the untold stigma of a dreadful illness that would eventually ravage Mom’s beautiful mind.
While there were those who remained steadfast in their support, the absence of others left a profound void. During our most vulnerable time, the phone stopped ringing, and in its place, an oppressive silence settled in. As the circles that once surrounded us grew smaller, our sense of isolation deepened. Over time, it became increasingly apparent that this emotional journey was one we would largely face alone.
In the shadow of Mom’s diagnosis and the new life we faced, we struggled to understand how people she had held so dear could turn away from her.
As I have reflected on our experience and journey over the years, I’ve often wondered:
In the face of difficult times, why do some of us choose to run and hide? Why do some people sweep the hard stuff under the rug and pretend it doesn’t exist?
Frankly, I don’t understand it. Maybe that’s because I am a deeply feeling person. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. But I’d like to think you don’t need a high EQ to understand the importance of human connection during difficult times. You don’t need to need to possess exceptional empathy to recognize the pain in someone’s eyes, offer a kind word, or simply show up and be present. We all have the capacity for compassion, no matter how it’s expressed, no matter how big or small the gesture.
What I have always known to be true is that our relationships, our communities, are the pillars that support us as we navigate life’s ups and downs. Without people in our corner, we are left to fight an uphill battle as a one-man army, and that’s a fight I certainly don’t want to face on my own.
The people who are suffering—those who are grieving the loss of a loved one, who are facing a diagnosis, or enduring a life-altering event—these are the people who need their people most. They need your presence, your support, and your care.
As you think about the people you cherish, take a moment to consider who might be struggling. Is there someone who has grown quiet, seems distant or unlike themselves lately? They may be carrying a burden you cannot see. If someone in your life is facing something hard or frightening, I implore you: surround them with comfort. Reach out, let them know you are there. Even if they don’t answer your call, your show of support will lift them in some small way. These gentle touches of human connection and love will cushion their hearts and guide them toward hope and light.
Believe me when I say they will remember the ones who stood with them in the dark, the ones who stepped toward their pain rather than away. They will remember.
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