The light finds its way through the cracks and for a minute my Mom is back.
The special person I knew and adored before Alzheimer’s disease robbed her of her beautiful humanity and her life.
Like an unexpected gift, that recognizable sparkle in her blue eyes has returned and fills the space between us with love and joy.
She looks at me with those same eyes, and I feel deep in my bones she knows who
I am and who we are to each other.
We are connecting again.
That special mother-daughter bond we shared for nearly 40 years of my life. It has returned and it fills me with overwhelming joy and gratitude.
It sounds like she says my name and I am taken aback as if I am hearing it for the first time. Mom looks at my face and utters something inaudible in her own special language - something only meant for me. And I let it sink in, absorbing every syllable, every facial expression, every gesture.
But before I know it, the moment - just like the others that came before it - disappears without a trace. Nothing left behind to remind me of its existence.
In its place, the vacant look in her eyes has made itself at home again, and the silence between us has returned. We are back where we started.
I am grateful for these special moments where the light finds its way through the cracks, because they return my Mom to me. For each second that passes, I am fully immersed in the experience for I never know when I will see her again.
Although fleeting, I hold onto these occasions tightly like a rare treasure because that’s what they are - unique, unexpected, and beautiful.
They serve as glimpses into the past when my Mom was healthy, vibrant, and full of life.
A glimpse into her spirit and soul that seem to still live in a place beyond the grips of Alzheimer’s.
A phenomenon I’ll never truly understand yet will always embrace with open arms and profound gratitude.
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